


Bucky x Reader Oneshots

by buckthegrump



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Domestic Violence, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Minor Violence, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-03-01 22:59:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13305144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckthegrump/pseuds/buckthegrump
Summary: A collection of Oneshots





	1. When He Sees Me

“You need to calm down, it’s just a date.” Natasha said from the other side of the counter.

“Nat she’s nervous let her be nervous.” Wanda defends you.

“I don’t like guessing games, and a blind date is just small guessing games in one big night.” You were on the verge of a break down.

“I think you’re over thinking this.” Wanda said.

“Wanda I found him on the internet. He could be lying about everything. What if he tries to call the waiter by their first name? What if his favorite way to eat oreo’s is to eat the cookies first?” You were now stress cleaning your apartment.  
“(Y/N).” Nat was tried to stop you. “You have an hour until you’re supposed to meet him there. We will drive you there and wait for you around the corner. But you have to start to get ready.”

“But what if he sees me and is disappointed instantly? What if it goes well and then somewhere down the line he is unimpressed by who I am?”

“Come on sweetie let’s do your hair.” Wanda pulled you into the bathroom and sat you on the toilet.

“What if he tries to ask me question about myself that I don’t want him to ask?”

“That won’t happen.” By now Nat and Wanda were just working around your freak out. Until you grabbed their arms.

“What if he’s a criminal? Or some psychopath who has this plan and preys on lonely women?” You asked them and they looked at each other in disbelief. “I could marry him and end up a miserable wife. What if he’s less than kind?”

“Then we will come pick you up.” Wanda states.

“Ya know what I’ll just cancel and that way I can just meet him when I’m ready.” You try to get up and they push you back down.

“With an attitude like this you’ll never be ready.” Nat points out, she might have a point. “Now close your eyes.” You obey.

“Now any other concerns you might have before I start using this very hot object near your head?” Wanda asks holding a hair straightener.

“Not at this moment.” You say but you were thinking up stuff. They continued to straighten your hair and work on your make up. They also kept giving you words of encouragement and advice on what to do if it did go badly.

“What if he tries to sit on the same side of the table as me?” Now you were really spiraling.

“What?” Wanda looked at Nat.

“What if he’s color blind?”

“(Y/N) what are you talking about?” Nat dug through your makeup bag.

“Or even worse,” you start and they look at you in anticipation. “What if he’s very nice and has amazing eyes, and he knows how to make me laugh and come out of my shell?”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” They ask but you weren’t listening.

“Oh god. What if when he sees me I like him and he knows it? What if he opens up a door inside me and I can’t close it? What if when he holds me my heart starts racing and I can’t control myself? What if he wants to see me again?” You put on the outfit you had all agreed on.

“(Y/N) I think you need to breathe. Let’s go before you’re late.” Wanda says and you all get in the car. Wanda stops at the corner of the block that the restaurant is on and tells you where they will be.

You walk into the diner and you find the guy who looks pretty close to the online profile picture but there’s one problem. He’s a lot hotter than his picture. You could feel the disappointment that he would have when he looked at you. But then something unexpected happened. He looked up from the menu and saw you, you were expecting a frown or a look of disgust, but he smiled really widely. He gave you a small wave which you returned and walked over to the booth he was sitting at.

“(Y/N)?” He asked standing up.

“Yeah, James?” He smiled and offered you the spot on the opposite side of the table.

“Yeah but everyone calls me Bucky.” He sat down in front of you and smiled.

“So what do you do?” You ask him.

“For a living, for fun, what do you want to know?” He asked.

“All of it?”

“OK well-” he started telling you everything, he never once let the conversation be entirely about him. Every time you would try a joke he would laugh. He kept smiling at you. His smile was contagious and neither of you stopped smiling the entire night.


	2. What Are You Waiting For?

Bucky considered you to be his best friend. He had known you since the both of you were in diapers. He was happy to be whatever you needed him to be. Whether it was a shoulder to cry on when you got your heart broken, or someone to save you from a really bad date.

At least that’s what he told himself. And he was almost starting to believe it, until your mutual friends Peggy and Natasha got inside his head.

“So when are you going to act on your feelings and ask (Y/N) out?” Peggy asked sipping her drink.

“What are you talking about?” Bucky questioned in fake confusion.

“Oh please Barnes. We’ve seen the way you look at her.” Natasha was tired of his bullshit. “Besides-”

“Hey guys,” you cut off Natasha and sit at the booth with them. “Sorry I’m late, traffic was a mess.”

“It’s all good.” Bucky beamed at you.

Natasha and Peggy were sharing a look when a really beefy looking dude came up to the table and set a chair down next to it. Peggy furrowed her brows at him and Natasha just stared at him

“Who the fuck are you?” Natasha blurted.

“Nat, this is Colin,” you kicked her lightly under the table to warn her. “He’s the guy I’ve been seeing, I told you about him.”

“What?” Peggy was mostly talking to herself but it was pretty loud. Colin pulled up a chair to the end of the table. Peggy and Natasha looked over to Bucky questions written on their faces, Bucky just responded with shrug.

“Colin this is Peggy and Natasha, and you’ve met Bucky.” You introduced them. He offered his hand to both of the women on that side of the table and they took it reluctantly. You glared at them not wanting to call them out just yet for being rude.

Their subtle rudeness continued the entire time Colin was there. When he finally left after bidding you goodbye you practically yelled at your friends.

“Don’t think that I don’t know what you’re doing.” You scolded. “You guys are trying to scare him off and I’m done with you doing that to every guy I have ever introduced you to.”

“We didn’t do that to Bucky!” Peggy defended gesturing to him.

“Yeah well consider this,” Natasha started. “Bucky’s not a fucking dick.”

“Oh and Colin is? You could tell from the three words you said to him?” You challenge.

“Um yeah I’m very good at knowing when a boy is going to be an asshole.” Natasha folded her arms.

“Whatever, I’ll see you guys later.” You pay your bill and walk out.

“You guys were being a little rude to him.” Bucky said quietly.

“Bucky you should’ve been the one who’s rude to him, you and (Y/N) are meant to be together and you are doing nothing about it.” Peggy pounded her hand on the table.

“Because she’s happy.”

“Not truly,” Peggy countered. “She won’t be truly happy until she’s with you.”

“Peg’s right Buck, the way she looks at you, even when she’s ‘in a relationship’ is not hard to decipher.” Natasha added.

Bucky looked away from the two girls but their words echoed in his head.

/

Bucky had planned on saying something. He really had, but a month later you were still seeing the Colin dude and you kept talking about how well it was going.

“I think I might love him,” you confessed to Bucky one night.

“You think?” Hope flooded through him.

“I can feel myself falling for him and he makes me feel like I matter.” You blush just talking about him. “Like I’m not his second choice. He’s the first guy to make me feel like that.”

You’re my first choice. You always have and always will be. Is what he should have said.

“I’m glad your happy.” Is what he said instead pulling you into a hug to hide his face.

“I really am Buck.” You say into his shoulder.

/

For most of your life you and Bucky had been neighbors. The exception being in college and for a few years after college when you lived on opposite sides of town. So at three months into your relationship with Colin he suggested you move into his place, you hesitated. Just for a second. You thought about how odd it was going to be not living next to Bucky but that didn’t stop you from saying yes.

“Bucky what the fuck are you waiting for?” Peggy wasn’t usually one to cuss, she found it unnecessary so when she cursed at Bucky he knew he was really in trouble.

“Peggy!” Natasha gasped. “Language.”

“Oh shut up Natasha.” Peggy said in a fit of rage. “Bucky what the hell is your problem? Do you like watching her fall in love with someone else. What are you waiting for? Their wedding because at this point that’s where we’re headed because turns out Nat was wrong.”

“No,” Natasha interrupted. “I’m never wrong about this kind of thing. He’s just really good at hiding it.”

“I’m not waiting for anything Peggy,” Bucky said calmly. “If she wants to be with him that’s fine. If he’s what’s going to make her happy who am I to barge into her life and say ‘Hey (Y/N) this guy isn’t the right one for you. Please run away and be with me.’ That won’t end well for someone. But if I stay right here I get to be apart of her life, and I would much rather be apart of her life and not dating her when the alternative is to not be in her life at life at all.”

“He’s got a point there Peggy.” Natasha whispered.

“Fine,” Peggy gave in. “But don’t come to us on her wedding day and ask us to help you win her over.”

/

“Hey Bucky.”

“Hi Colin.” Bucky gave him a fake smile. “I’m confused as to why you called me here?”

“Well I’ll tell you.” Colin sat down at the table in the coffee shop. “Are the girls coming?”

Bucky almost laughed out loud. When he first got the call from Colin asking him to bring Peggy and Natasha he knew what their answers would be. A flat out no but after some groveling and looking pathetic they gave in. “Yeah they should be here any second.”

“Good I’ll wait until they get here. So how’ve you been?” Colin kept up small talk until the girls got there.

“Hello boys.” Natasha and Peggy sat down at the table.

“Ok so now that you’re all here,” Colin clapped his hands together and took a deep breath. “I want your help planning my proposal to (Y/N).”

They were dumbfounded to say the least. They say there staring at him for longer than they should have without saying anything. Sometimes one of them would look at the other two and then back to Colin. Colin was still waiting for some sort of response.

“So are you guys in?” Colin asked.

“Yeah,” Peggy said and both Natasha and Bucky slowly turn their heads towards her. “We can do that.”

“Ok thanks.” Colin looks relieved and start brainstorming ideas, anytime he would say something that you would find annoying and way cheesey Peggy would convince him that it was a brilliant idea. Natasha caught on quick but Bucky was very confused. “Ok so I’ll see you guys next week?”

They all nodded and he got up from his place at the table. When he was out the door Bucky turned to them.

“What are you guys doing?” Bucky thinks he’s finally caught on.

“Nothing I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Peggy turned her nose up at him.

“Did anyone notice that he smelled odd?” Natasha asked successfully distracting them.

“What do you mean?”Peggy turned to her friend.

“He just smelled like odd. I can’t put a name to the sent yet.” She sat and thought for a moment.

“Maybe it’s one of (Y/N)’s body wash scents?” Bucky suggested.

“No I don’t think it was that.” Natasha said and she didn’t speak for the rest of the time she was there. She sat there thinking about what could possibly be off about the way Colin smelled.

“Natasha I’m pretty sure you’re just looking for a something to validate your hatred for him.” Bucky said.

“Ok so here’s what I’m thinking.” Peggy decided to ignore Natasha. “We get him to propose in the worst possible way and (Y/N) says no and then you can swoop in and take her away.”

“Oh great plan Peggy,” Bucky’s voice is full of sarcasm. “One problem though, she’ll say yes. If he asks her even in front of one other person she will say yes and then go through with all of it as to avoid conflict.”

“Well we have a week to figure out how to avoid that.” Peggy starts packing up her things. “I’ll call you tomorrow or something. C’mon Nat.”

“I swear there was something weird about it.” Nat mumbles getting out of her chair.

“I know you do sweetie.” Peggy patted her back and they left.

Bucky made his way back home his thoughts running at a thousand miles an hour.

Was he truly happy just being in (Y/N)’s life? There was no doubt in his mind that he loved you. But if he told you how he felt would say you feel the same?

You were standing at the front door of the building when Bucky got there.

“Hey (Y/N), what are you doing here?” Bucky asked as he came up next to you.

“Ah fuck,” your sudden outburst started Bucky. “Sometimes I forget that I don’t live here anymore.”

“Ok well do you want to hang out anyway?” He laughs.

“Yes please,” you say still embarrassed you forgot you lived with your boyfriend.

He leads you up to his apartment and you take your old spot on his couch. He walks into his kitchen to grab you and him some water.

“So are we watching a movie or what?” Bucky reaches for his remote but you stop him.

“No, I just want to talk to you. Ever since I moved away I haven’t talked to you that much. I miss my best friend.”

“I miss you too.” Bucky had this tendency to forget that you were dating someone when it was just you and him on his couch.

“So what’s new?” You cross your legs. “Any new romantic interests?”

“No,” he laughs.

“Why is that funny?” Your sincerity coming through your voice. “You’re hot Bucky why don’t you date anyone?”

“I’m trying to get over someone that I have loved for a while, but it doesn’t seem to be working.”

“Who is she? Do I know her? Is it your ex-girlfriend? Should I kick her ass? You know I could.”

“No. (Y/N) it’s not my ex.”

“Then who is it Bucky I need to know.” You shake his arms.

“I’ll tell you when I’m over it.”

“So I know her.” You say to yourself. “Why don’t you date Natasha? Or Peggy? You get along with them just fine.”

“No, they would never date me.”

“Why not?” He gives you a shrug. “Do they know who you’re in love with? They do don’t they?”

He nods.

“Why don’t I know?”

“(Y/N) just trust me, ok?”

“Fine I trust you.” You put up your hands in surrender.

“So how are things going with Colin?” Bucky absentmindedly starts playing with your hand.

“They’re going alright, he’s been acting really weird lately.” Bucky freezes.

“For how long?”

“For like 2 months now.”

“Maybe it’s a work thing.” He offers.

“Maybe I’m not convinced of that though.”

You and Bucky spend the next few hours talking, catching up. You talk about anything you can think of, you were trying to spend as much time as you could with Bucky. You had really missed him.

“Do you remember what your mom told us when we graduated high school?” Bucky asked at one point during the night.

“She said a lot of shit that night. What are you thinking of?”

“When she said, remember marry your best friend.” He was focused on the hand he held in his.

“No I don’t remember that.” You wondered what had brought this up.

Bucky knew you didn’t remember that, your mother had pulled him aside and told him that. But he needed you to know that you were it for him.

/

“So today’s the day.” Natasha looked at you.

“Yup.” You should be more excited right? People were supposed to be excited on their wedding day. That’s how it worked. But you weren’t.

It had been a short engagement, only a few months. You weren’t having a big wedding per Colin’s request, so planning it wasn’t that hard or stressful.

Natasha and Peggy were your bridesmaids. You didn’t have a maid of honor since it was just the two of them.

You were standing in a room in a church in front of a mirror. You were staring at someone who was in a white dress, she looked like you but there was something off about her.

“You ready (Y/N)?” Peggy asked you. It was almost time for you to walk down the aisle.

“Something’s wrong.” You say still looking in the mirror.

“What is?” Natasha asks handing you your bouquet.

“There’s something that keeps going through my mind.” You turn to them. It what Bucky had said to you on his couch that night. “Marry your best friend.”

“What about it?” Peggy asked you but looked at Natasha.

“I need to talk to Bucky.” And before you even finish saying his name Natasha is out the door.

“What are you going to say to him? (Y/N) this is your wedding day. Everyone you know is here to watch you get married.” Peggy had always been the voice of reason

“Peggy,” you were about to tell her off when Bucky walked in the door.

“What’s wrong?” He looked at you concerned.

“Peggy give us the room please.” You didn’t take your eyes off of Bucky.

She smiled and walked out the door.

“Why the hell are you letting me do this?” You ask.

“What?”

“You supposed to stop me from doing stupid things.”

“Like what?” He looks even more confused now.

“Like marrying a man I don’t love.” When he doesn’t say anything you add “Bucky I love you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Bucky I love you more than I thought possible and I’m pissed it took me until I was about to walk down the aisle for another man to realize that but it did,” you look at him and he’s just silent.

“(Y/N),” Nat pokes her head in. “It’s time.”

“Ok one minute.”

“Make it quick.” She closes the door.

“(Y/N), are you sure that this isn’t just prewedding jitters?” He looks at you and you are very sure.

“Bucky, my heart belongs to you. If you want it.” You confess.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear that.” He smiles.

He grabs your hand and together you run.


	3. The Christmas Spirit

November 1st was the day Christmas time started. A lot of people you knew thought that it was way too early for it but you didn’t let that stop you from blasting Christmas music and watching holiday movies. Your favorite thing by far though, was the christmas lights. It made the fact that sunset was at 4:30 less depressing and the literally lit up the city. The cold weather matched your wardrobe and honestly nothing could ruin your good mood.

Except one thing, and it, he rather, was insistent on ruining your good mood. And to be honest he was getting to you. Anytime you tried to get anyone from the team to go out to go ice skating or look at christmas lights or do anything that deals with anything remotely close to christmas, he was one of many shooting the idea down. For some reason it hurt more when he did it, you knew the reason why you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself.

Tonight was no different only tonight you were determined to win. You were going to win tonight.

“We should watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas or It’s a Wonderful Life.” You had suggested chirstmas movies for the past few movie nights with no luck.

“Why it’s not even after Thanksgiving yet.” Bucky said. “Let’s watch something else.”

“Bucky, watching one christmas movie isn’t going to kill anyone.” Steve was exhausted from your constant bickering.

“There’s no reason that we need to watch a christmas movie before thanksgiving,” Bucky argued.

“Y/N, just put in the Grinch.” Natasha sighed, and you obliged.

“Oh c’mon.” Bucky groaned.

“Buck, it’s only 30 minutes you can handle 30 minutes.” Sam raised his voice slightly.

The movie starts and you try to enjoy yourself, but every so often you hear him groaning.

The movie is almost over and you turn to man who has set out to ruin your Christmas spirit.

“Bucky, you remind me of the Grinch, you know?” You made eye contact with him. “Except his heart grows three sizes and you stay an asshole.” Your outburst stunned him into silence, and you watched the last few minutes in peace.

Over the next few days Bucky was back to his happiness hating self. You started avoiding him so you wouldn’t have to deal with him.

“Y/N you should talk to him and tell him that he needs to back off of Christmas.” Steve said the next morning before the rest of the team was up.

“Why?”

“He’s not very good at expressing himself.”

“He seems to be doing just fine to me.” This makes Steve glare at you.

“You know what I mean. Besides you have to remember we grew up in a different time so we were taught differently than you were.”

“Fine I’ll talk to him.” You give in and Steve smiles. “But he so much as blinks the wrong way and I’ll up my Christmas spirit to 100%.”

“You’re not at 100% now?” Steve’s voice cracks slightly.

You just shrug and walk up to your room. On your way up you run into the grinch himself. You should’ve left it, you should’ve kept walking but you didn’t.

“What the hell is your problem?” You storm over to Bucky.

“What do you mean?” He backs away slightly.

“I put up with your bullshit for the rest of the year and you can’t leave me alone for this two months while I enjoy the best time of year?”

“I’m just confused as to why you love this season so much.” He admitted.

“Because it’s the best season.”

“How? It’s dark all the time the weather is terrible and the city is always so busy.”

“Come home with me.” You abruptly state.

“What?” He asks understandably confused.

“For the holidays, come home with me. I want to show you why I love this season.” It was a long shot but you really wanted to at least try to show him.

“Yeah alright,” his agreement shocked you and you didn’t say anything as he walked away.

/

“So do you like bucky?” Steve asks while he’s cooking dinner the next day and you almost choke on your drink.

“He’s fine.” You shrug trying to keep cool.

“Don’t bullshit me Y/N, you know exactly what I’m asking you.” He looks at you. “C’mon there’s no one around, you can tell me.”

“Who knew that Captain America was a gossip.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

“You’re damn right I am.” You suddenly find your hands very interesting.

“Please tell me.” Steve whined.

“Ok fine yes I have a crush on him. God. And it’s so irritating. Like why? Why do I hate myself? I should hate him he’s-” you run your hands through your hair. “He’s so grumpy? I don’t think that I’ve ever seen him smile, once. Is he allergic to happiness?”

“No he just, doesn’t understand the new age.” Steve says then a sly smile forms onto his face. “Besides something tells me he might like you too.”

“Oh give me a break.” You walk away and ignore Steve’s laughter and call for you to come back.

But you couldn’t help but think, what if he did?

/

Two weeks later you are at the airport with Bucky waiting for your flight. He was staring at his ticket.

“You’re from Oregon?” He looks at you.

“Yes, why is that surprising?”

“Well yeah, isn’t full of farms and small towns?” He asks.

“I mean yeah but I’m from the the one part that doesn’t have small towns. But don’t worry we’ll have fun, the only time you want to be in Portland is during Christmas. It’s when there’s the most to do.”

“Whatever you say doll.” He smirks knowing that that nickname angers you. You roll your eyes and you try to ignore him for the rest of the time. But he keeps asking you questions about you home, you begrudgingly answer them.

When you finally land in Portland you pull him aside before leaving the terminal.

“So I forgot to warn you,” your voice is hushed.

“What?” His tone matches yours.

“My parents like to jump to conclusions, so they think we are dating and I have tried to correct them, but they are also stubborn and want me to be dating someone already.”

“Why would they think we’re dating?” He seems genuinely confused.

“Because I’m bringing you home for the holidays. That’s something you do with significant others.” Your whisper turns into more of a yell.

“Ok, well just leave it to me, I’ll take care of it.” He smiles and walks towards the escalators.

“What?” You stand there for a minute and watched him walk away. “Bucky what does that mean?”

You chase after him and catch up with him at the luggage claim and that’s when you hear them. Your parents. You brace yourself.

“Y/N!” Your mother yells as she runs up to you and wraps you in her arms. “Oh is this the man you brought home with you?” She takes a step back looking him up and down. “He’s cute.”

“Mom!” You gasp.

“What? I’m just saying!” Your mother holds up her hands.

“Honey leave our daughter alone.” Your dad comes to your rescue. “Hi kiddo.”

“Hi dad.” You smile then remember they’ve never actually met Bucky. “Mom, Dad, this is Bucky.”

“Hi,” Bucky says with a surprising amount of enthusiasm stretching out his right hand. “It’s so good to meet you.”

“Oh nice shake.” Your dad comments.

“Since when do you care about a handshake?” Your mother asks the question you had on your mind.

“Isn’t that just something people say?” You father half whispers looking at you and you shake your head.

“Come on dear, grab your friend and let’s go try and beat traffic.” You mother herds you back to the car.

When you finally got home your mother said that you could share a room since you were dating. You were about to correct your mother or at least try, when Bucky spoke.

“Thank you so much,” he smiled and placed a hand on the small of your back and led you up the stairs.

You closed the door to your old room when you were inside with Bucky. You turn to him “what the hell?”

“What?” He asks with the same amount of confusion that you felt.

“Why didn’t you tell them the truth?” You ask and he just looks at you not giving you an answer. “Bucky.”

“I’m honestly not sure.” He turns and starts unpacking. You decide to let it go for now.

“So I was thinking that we could take a nap and then I could show you around town.”

“You only have one bed,” he points to your queen sized bed.

“Unlike you I’m ok with sharing.” You set an alarm and fall onto the bed.

/

You and Bucky were standing at the waterfront, you had taken him to Peacock lane and the Winter Wonderland at the race track but he kept complaining about something.

You were currently waiting for the boat parade to start. You had made Bucky get christmas drinks with you, in hopes that he wouldn’t complain about the cold again.

But Bucky wasn’t paying attention to that, he was barely even paying attention to the boats when they finally started. He was paying attention to you, how your face would light up at every new set up, and how his heart stopped when you looked at him and smiled. He knew he was in trouble when he felt the urge to kiss you, he had felt that urge before but never this strong and never this long.

“Did you enjoy it?” You were walking back to the car and had expected him to say no.

“Ya know what I did.” He sounds like he actually means it and you take off your glove and press your hand to his forehead.

“Are you feeling ok?” You flipped your hand as if checking for a fever. “You don’t feel warm.”

“I’m not sick.” He playfully pushes your hand away.

“Ok so tomorrow, we have one more thing we need to see.”

“Y/N don’t you think we should slow down on the christmas adventure?”

You just give him a look as you get into the car.

“Wait, Y/N.” He rushes to the other side of the car and got in. “Why aren’t we slowing down? I’m tired and just want to sleep.”

“Tomorrow is Wednesday which is the best day to go to Zoo Lights because no one goes on a wednesday.” You say and drive home.

/

“You said that no one would be here.” Bucky whispers into your ear. You were standing in one of two lines and they were a little long but this was nothing in comparison.

“It won’t be as bad when we get in there, besides you should see this place on the free entry day, now that is a shitshow.” You whisper back.

When you are finally walking around you are literally giddy. You had been there a few times before. But this time was different somehow, you felt different. You finally get to one of your favorite parts. The tunnel, it’s just a tunnel of lights but it made you feel like you were in a movie.

“Y/N,” Bucky stops you at the end of the tunnel.

“What?”

“You’re infuriating, do you know this?” You open your mouth to respond but he stops you. “No, let me finish. You love christmas so much it’s almost annoying, it should be annoying, I should find it so annoying. But I don’t. I find it charming, endearing, hell I find it adorable. I find you adorable. And there are times when I just want to… Oh god,” he pauses and looks as if he’s just realized something. “I’m in love with you.”

You stood there not saying anything so he speaks again.

“Y/N I’m in love with you.” He looks at you.

“So you’re heart does grow.” He scoffs and starts to walk away but you grab his arm and pull him back. You take him by surprise when you kiss him. It takes a moment but he kisses you back. When you pull away he almost doesn’t let you. “I’m in love with you too.”

“Does this mean that you don’t think I’m an asshole anymore?” He smiles.

“No you’re still an asshole.”


	4. Wonderstruck

The only thing you hated about being royalty were balls. Well not the only thing but they were at the top of the short list. They were always the same old thing. You were forced to dance with diplomats from all different lands, some of them cute but all of them with the same stick up their ass. Assuming that you would fall head over heels for them because they seemed to forget that you were in line for your own thrown and didn’t need theirs.

So you expected tonight to be the same, only today your father was insisting that you find someone with whom you could even possibly see yourself with. It was your mother’s birthday ball and the two of them were getting worried, because they didn’t think that any one person should rule on their own. A ruler should have someone who knew them better than anyone else, someone who could help them see every aspect of their decision, someone who understood what they were going through.

They had a point but damn, every one of the “suitable” suitors made you want volunteer to go dragon hunting.

“But mama,” you protested walking behind her. She was telling you that your father was right and that if you didn’t find someone tonight that you could at least live with they would choose for you.

“No (Y/N), I have heard the last of your protest.” She stopped walking abruptly and turned towards you. “Now I have invited new kingdoms from even farther away. None of the boys coming tonight are in line for their own throne so you can literally pick any of them.”

“The fact that you called them boys just now makes me apprehensive about this whole thing.”

“Fine, none of the MEN coming tonight are in line for their own throne. Now please put your father’s mind at ease and just pick one.” She turned.

“What if they are all the worst people in the world and not even papa likes them?” You challenge and she stops and turns again this time with slightly more rage.

“Fine, if by some act of the universe every single one of the men,” she stresses that word for you. “Is no better than that Duke of-”

“Troutdale?” You finish and your mother audibly gags.

“Oh don’t even say it.” She rolls her eyes. “Then yes you can put off finding someone until the next ball, but you are running out of time child.”

You smile as she storms out of the grand hall. The servants are hard at work rushing around getting everything done in time for the ball. You turn knowing that you can easily convince your father that every suitor that comes tonight is no good. It was your mother that you had to be mindful of.

/

The ball was in full swing and your mother looked less than pleased with you. You had turned away every single suitor that had come forward so far, which was somewhere around 10. Your father was still hopeful. He looked like he had a secret that he was hiding from you.

“(Y/N), there’s someone I want you to meet.” He says and you quickly find an excuse to get out of it.

“In a minute papa I am very hungry.” You turn and rush towards the food. You make it to the table and grab a goblet of wine and quickly down it. You turn and from across the room you see a man with bright blue eyes and even brighter smile who was laughing at something someone was saying.

The two of you locked eyes for a moment and he gave you a nod to acknowledge he saw you and turned back to the conversation he was having.

“Did someone catch your eye?” You turn to see Taylor, your best friend, smirking at you.

“Oh hush now,” you glare. “He was just laughing, I’ve never seen anyone laugh at a ball before.”

“Well that’s because you are never looking.” She laughs. “You’re always trying to run off every suitor that comes knocking at your door.”

She pauses and you grab another goblet of wine. “Go talk to him.”

You choke and wine almost comes out your nose. “Excuse me?”

“Go speak to him.” She takes the goblet and whispers in to you. “You might miss your chance.”

“Chance at what?”

“Just go.” She says as she walks away with your wine.

“Taylor,” you half heartedly call after her. “That’s my wine.”

When you look back to where he was standing he was gone. You sigh, grab some food, and head back to your father to meet the next boy.

“You are a very hard woman to track down.” Someone says behind you and your turn to see the blue eyed man.

“Am I an elk?” Your question seems to shock him.

“Pardon?”

“Well you said I was hard to track down. Are you comparing me to game that you hunt wherever you’re from?”

“Forgive me, allow me to introduce myself” He bows slightly. “Bucky.”

“(Y/N).” You curtsy. “So what brings you here?”

“My father is on business here trying to get me to take up his trade.” He smiles and cocks an eyebrow. “And you?”

“My mother is trying to marry me off.”

“You don’t seem like the kind of lady who will be married off.”

“Not easily no, much to her disappointment.” A prideful smile comes across your face.

“Would you like to get out of here?” He steps closer. “Just for a moment?”

You think for a second and glance over to your parents who are queueing up the next suitors. “Yes.” You breathe.

Bucky grabs your hand and leads you through the crowd and out of the hall.

“Where are you going?” Taylor asks you just as you about to walk out the door. “Should I be concerned?”

“Just cover for me ok? I’ll be back soon.” You plead.

“Fine but don’t do anything stupid.” She says letting you go.

/

“So this is the first time out of your home country?” You ask him as the two of you walk down the moonlit path in the garden.

“Yes until recently my family was concerned,” he chose his words carefully. “They thought that if we left then we would fall ill and never recover. How about you, is this your first time to Rosedale?”

“No I live here.”

“Would you ever move away?” He looks at you.

“That’s not really an option for me. Would you leave your home?” You take a turn that leads you to a swing where you take a seat and Bucky remains standing.

“Well I might, but that’s not really up to me either.” He smiles sadly.

“If you could stay would you?”

“No, I would just like a say in the matter is all.”

“Ok let’s talk about something else. What is the royal family like where you’re from?”

“Oh well” he blows out air. “They are very kind for the most part. They have odd quirks about them that not everyone understands. And the King and Queen are rather paranoid, although there’s no real good reason as to why. What about here? What are they like?”

“Oh well the King and Queen are fair enough, they try their best to make sure that everything is fair and equal but that’s not alway what people think it is.” You look at him from the side of your eye. “But the princess is something else. She is very stubborn and rather impossible if you ask me or anyone for that matter.”

“That’s not what I heard.”

You look at him. Trying to keep your demeanor neutral. “What did you hear?”

“Well I heard that she is very sweet to those whom she trusts and likes. And that she isn’t impossible, she’s just protective of the ones she loves and herself.”

“You’ve been here a very short time to know so much.” You stand.

“Well I find that if you ask servants about the people they work for they are quite honest. If you give them the right amount of money.” In the distance the bells can be heard ringing marking the start of a new hour.

“We should be getting back.” You say, he offers you his arm and you take it.

The two of you walk back to the ball, occasionally talking about something or another. When you get back Bucky drops your arm and faces you.

“I have thoroughly enjoyed myself tonight. It was enchanting to meet you.” He lightly kisses your hand and disappears into the crowd.

Taylor rushes up beside you and grabs your arm. She starts ushering you back towards your parents. “They kept asking me where you were so I told them that you went to tend to a matter in the kitchen. I didn’t come up with the actual situation so if they ask that’s up to you. But they have a whole line of men for you to meet. None of them are as nearly as cute or charming as the one you were just with so put on a brave face and shoot them all down.” She pats your hand. “You’re good at that.”

“Thanks Taylor,” you deadpan and walk back to your parents.

“Ah there you are (Y/N),” your father holds out an arm to you and you walk towards him. “I trust that the situation in the kitchen has been dealt with?”

“Of course father.” You plaster the fakest smile you can manage.

“Great because I have more people I want you to meet.” He gestures over to the line and you in that moment want to die just a little bit.

/

Your already dwindling patients was vanishing very quickly due to the amount of bullshit that was being said by the suitors your father was introducing and much to your surprise, your mother was agreeing with you.

“Truly Travis, the men you have chosen are abominable.” Your mother said not so quietly in between men.

“Well Gladis I doubt you could’ve done any better with the selection that we have tonight.” Your father tried to defend himself.

“You invited all of these families. I however only invited one and I’ve known the mother since childhood.” Your mother smiled.

“Oh yes well not all of us had outgoing and charming parents.” Your father said bitterly.

“Don’t I know it.” You blurt earning a glare from your parents. “So mother when is your ‘perfect fit’ going to introduce himself.”

“Soon,” she said with the look of glee still present on her face. “Very soon.”

You went through way too many suitors in the next half hour. Some of them weren’t even eligible, you were pretty sure your father was just grasping at a dream he wasn’t sure he could have any more.

“Ahh yes they come.” Your mother said.

“Your grace, King and Queen Barnes from Artendale.” They were announced.

“Gladis,” Mrs. Barnes said. “It’s been a long time.”

“Hopefully next time won’t be so far away.” You catch your mother winking at her.

“Shall we introduce our son?” The King asks. “James Barnes, Prince of Artendale.”

To your surprise Bucky comes into view and you are at a loss for words. He smiles at you and you return it.

“Princess,” Bucky said it almost sounds like a question.

“Prince James.” You could feel the pride radiating off of your mother.


	5. Haunting

Everyone in the compound is aware of Bucky’s nightmares. They used to happen all the time, but over time they got less frequent and less brutal. He even had stopped having night terrors.

But there was one nightmare that he knew he would never be able to get rid of. It haunted him every once in awhile, it used to be random but now there were triggers.

He never told anybody about this nightmare or what happened in it. He couldn’t. His friends had been so understanding about everything but this is was something else. He hadn’t even told Steve. He couldn’t tell Steve, it would break Steve’s heart and he’s had enough of that.

Bucky was stalling, he didn’t want to go to bed because he had seen you today. Well he was positive it wasn’t you, but this lady looked exactly like you. It was uncanny and there was no doubt in his mine that he would have the nightmare again.

“Hey tin man why are you still up?” Tony stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

“I’m stalling.” He said blankly.

“Well I could give you a sedative if you are afraid to have another nightmare. They seemed to work before.” Tony offered.

“They never worked for this one.” Bucky got up from the stool he was at and headed up the stairs. He got in bed no longer fighting sleep and trying to prepare himself for what he was about to experience for the 100th time.

/

You could hear Rebecca crying you couldn’t see here because the two of you were tied up back to back.

“Becca, hey we’re ok I’m right here. We can get out of this.” You tried reassuring her. “Probably.”

“(Y/N), you’re not a very good liar. But Thank you.” She was still crying but not as hard.

The two of you looked at the door when you heard a bang.

“What do you think is gonna happen to us?” You felt Becca grab your hand.

“I don’t know. But if they think I’m not putting up a fight they are wrong.” You tell her. Then the door opens and it’s the very last person you ever expected to see.

“Bucky.” Becca breathes in relief but you just stare at him.

He doesn’t look the same. He looks run down and beaten and his eyes are the warm caring blue eyes you’re used to. They are cold and dead, and there’s something about the way he’s carrying himself. And his hair is longer.

“Bucky!” Becca repeats with more urgency. “It’s me your sister Becca!”

“I don’t think that’s Bucky.” You whisper and the Bucky like figure turns to you. He slowly raises the gun that you hadn’t noticed he was holding.

“Please (Y/N) try calling out to him he always listened to you.” Becca pleaded noticing the gun.

You were oddly calm right now, you just looked at him in sadness. “I’m sorry.”

You didn’t know if you were apologizing to Becca or Bucky, but it didn’t matter because a moment later he pulled the trigger.

Becca’s screams echoed through the room and she looked at her brother like he was a monster. He only paused a moment before pulling the trigger again.

/

That look that his sister gave him would always haunt him.


	6. Can't Believe My Eyes

You sat at the desk in your lab. This was your second term of your first year of college and you were scared of who your lab partner would be. Hopefully it would be someone smart, or at the very least someone you could talk to. Last time you got stuck with a slacker who smoked. You glaced at the door when you heard it opened. You eyes widened at the sight of him and you opened up your book and hid behind it.

He wasn’t going to school here, was he? No because he had said that he was going somewhere else. When did he transfer? Your mind was racing a mile a minute when you felt someone take the seat next to you. You didn’t which would be worse if he had chosen a different seat or if he had sat next to you. You were too scared to look.

“I didn’t know you went to school here.” You peeked over the book to see Bucky’s deep blue eyes looking back at you. He had the biggest grin on his face and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling back at him.

“Um yeah,” you said. Great response (Y/N).

“So does me sitting here mean we are lab partners? Because it would be great to have someone that I know be there for my first day of class here.” He was still talking to you and you speechless so you nodded. “Great, I look forward to working with you.”

He continued to talk up until the professor went through her lecture and when she let you talk to your partners he went back to talking up a storm. He gave you his number and you gave him yours without speaking a word.

How could you? You were in shock you had spent four years of high school with the biggest crush on him and now you were there talking to him in college? What were the odds of him going to the same one as you? Much less having the same class as you. And he was talking to you first which you never thought would happen.

You walk back to your dorm in a haze not sure how to respond to what just happened. You walked in and saw your roommate who was in the middle of watching netflix or something you assumed. She waved and you nodded back, the two of you were friends but you knew that she needed alone time right now.

You sat on your bed and then you pull out your phone you saw you had a text message, from Bucky. You look over at Wanda in a panic only to see her still staring at the screen. You get up and walk around your bed and catch her attention. She pauses the video and pulls out one of her earbuds.

“What is it?” She sighs.

“Ok,” you clap your hands together ready to take her back to the start. “So let’s for funsies, say that I had this crush on this guy all four years of high school, and then I got here and was like oh it’s fine i’ll get over him because I’ll never see him again. But then,” you laugh. “But then this butt munch-”

“Butt munch?” She asks amused.

“I’m not done. Yes butt munch, shows up out of the fucking blue. With his perfect hair, and bright blue eyes, and just sits next to me in class. Taking me completely by surprise-”

“Does this story have a point?”

“And then we exchange numbers and he just texted me saying and I quote,” you ignore her and grab your phone to read it to her. “‘Hey (Y/N), it was great seeing you today. We should meet up soon.’ THE FUCK DOES HE MEAN BY THAT?”

“I think he wants to go on a date with you.” She smiles and you stare at her with your mouth open.

“What?!” You finally yell after a minute. “Let’s count how many people liked me enough to ask me to do anything? Oh wait that’s right none. I haven’t even kissed anyone. Ever.”

Just then your phone rings and once you see Bucky’s name you scream and throw your phone on your bed. Wanda gets up hastily and answers it.

“Hello this is (Y/N)’s phone, Wanda speaking.” She pauses backing away from you. “Oh hi Bucky.”

“Wanda give me the phone.” You used the best hushed yell you can and she just smiles and runs from you. You and her start racing around the room while she’s on the phone.

“Oh I answered because she’s in the bathroom. Can I take a message?” She hopped up on your bed and walks across.

“Wanda.”

“Oh she doesn’t have class or work this Friday.” She stops moving and you successfully grab your phone back.

“Hey I’m back.” You say with a surge of confidence.

“Do you want to go out on a date with me on friday?” His voice tinted with worry.

“Yeah, 7:30?” You say and Wanda’s face widens.

“Sure I’ll pick you up text me with what building you’re in. Bye, see ya friday.” And after you say goodbye he hangs up.

“Where the hell did that come from?” Wanda’s shocked expression hasn’t faltered.

“I don’t know but I’m back to freaking out.” You said and she placed her hands on your shoulders.

“Breathe (Y/N), you can do this. We can get you through this.” She says and you nod.

/

Three years later you’re sitting on the couch with your legs on top of Bucky’s lap. You were reading a book You glance up at him and he’s staring at you.

“What?” You smile.

“Nothing.”

“Is there something on my face? Because I know you think it’s funny to not tell me but it’s not.” You start to get up but he grabs your legs to stop you.

“You don’t have anything on your face. I just can’t believe my eyes.”

“Meaning?” You edge him on.

“When you said yes to that first date you took me by surprise. I didn’t believe it at first. I thought for sure you would say no.” He rubs your legs.

“Why would I have said no?” You scoffed.

“Well I had a crush on you in high school but -”

“You what?” You stop him.

“I had a crush on you in high school. Why?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I had a crush on you in high school.” You hit your book on your lap in frustration.

“So if I had asked you to prom in high school?” He raises his eyebrows.

“I would’ve said yes.”

“So we could’ve dated in high school?” He rolls his eyes.

“I’m glad we didn’t though.”

“That’s not what I thought you would say.” He whispers.

“No,” you laugh. “I’m just glad we never had to deal with, whether or not we would go to the same college or not, and if we didn’t then there would be the whole question of if we would do long distance. I’m glad that we are together, don’t get me wrong. I’m just glad we made the decision after we were in college and didn’t have to deal with that drama. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he leans over and kisses your cheek and you blush.

And you didn’t know this at the time but Bucky had a ring hidden in a place he was sure you’d never look. He was waiting for the perfect moment and with each passing day he could feel it coming closer and closer.


	7. Sticky Situations

“Barnes, (Y/L/N), there’s a mission for you. Wheels up in 10.” Fury says handing you a folder.

“Why is it always 10? Can’t you give us a little more warning?” You ask then look at Bucky. “Some of us have to rip off the left arm of a perfectly good jacket that their girlfriend got them.”

He stands there with his mouth hanging open while you walk to the arsenal. You start gearing up while Bucky come up behind you.

“You didn’t get me that jacket.” Was all he said. You turn to him in disbelief.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I got that for our year anniversary.” You try reminding him but he shakes his head. Just then Steve walks by. “Steve!”

“Yeah?” He stops and turns to you.

“What did I get Bucky for our one year?” You walked over to him already to go.

“Oh that really nice jacket that he ripped the arm off of.” Steve says and walks away.

“No she didn’t!” Bucky yells after him and you just stare him down with your hands on your hips. “C’mon we’re going to be late and piss Fury off.”

“You’re just mad because you know I’m right.” You follow him to the quinjet.

You and your boyfriend continued to lightly argue about this the whole flight. When you finally got there you were in agent mode and were completely professional.

It was a simple recon mission but somewhere down the line on of you slipped up and now it was no longer simple.

You woke up tied to a chair, you tried to stay as calm as possible as you look around. Most of your panic disappears when you find Bucky sitting next to you about 3 feet away looking annoyed.

“He wants to know what we know, about the avengers and everything.” Bucky told you.

“Who does?”

“That guy.” Bucky nodded his head towards the door and as if on cue some guy in a suit comes in.

“So who’s going to spill the beans?” The man in the suit said obviously trying to be threatening.

“Spill the beans?” You asked incredulously. “What are we 7?”

“Shut up!” He yells at you.

Your eyes widen a bit but you don’t say anything.

“Now one of you is going to tell me what the hell you’re doing here.”

“Well she won’t because she won’t even tell me when someone is sneaking up on me!” Bucky accuses you.

“I was busy.” You whisper not really wanting to get yelled at again.

The guy in the suit turns to Bucky and gets really close to his face.

“You’re going to tell me you little one armed kretian.” He yells.

“Okay, first of all, it’s ‘cretin’. If you’re gonna threaten me, do it properly.” Bucky retorted and you winced.

“Oh my god. Bucky shut up.” You said.

“I mean he’s probably gonna kill us if we tell him or not. This way my last memory will be you telling how much of an idiot I am. Which is my favorite thing to hear from you.” He says sarcastically. “Not, ‘I love you’, ‘come back to bed’, and definitely not ‘hey let’s go home early’.”

“I’ll stop telling you you’re an idiot, when you stop being an idiot.” You tell him.

Now they guy who’s name you still don’t know is standing back watching you two argue.

“Oh and I suppose that getting captured was my fault too.”

“I never said that!” You were so invested in this argument that you forgot that you had been captured and this was a stalling tactic.

“Oh but you were thinking it.” Bucky spat.

“Shut up you two.” Suit guy calls attention to himself reminding you both that he’s there.

“You mean my black denim jacket.” Bucky says having an epiphany.

You turn your head to him slowly, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“I thought you got me the leather jacket.”

“I got you both!” You yell.

“You can tone it down we’re almost there.” You hear but judging by the fact that no one’s lips have moved it’s Wanda in your head.

“Are the two really oblivious to the fact that you are about to die?” He yells.

“Dude you need to lay off the yelling.” You tell him and he cocks his head toward you.

“Yeah if you yell to much you might lose your voice, and how are you going to threaten people?” Bucky adds.

“Besides, we need to get this out before we die.” You tell him. “And we’re stalling.”

“Stalling for what?” He asks.

“For this,” Bucky smiles just as the door was kicked down and Steve grabs him and you are freed by Wanda and Nat.

“Took you guys long enough.” Bucky says getting out of the chair.

“You’re the one who got themselves captured so stuff it.” Natasha says.

“Can we get going please?” Steve said dragging they unnamed guy back to the jet.

“Yeah.” The rest of you agree and head back to the jet.

You sat down on the jet next to Bucky across from Natasha who kept squinting at you. The ride was long and a little awkward especially with that guy sitting there talking to himself. Finally Natasha got up and grabbed him and took him to a different part of the jet in hopes of some quiet.

“Marry me.” You heard Bucky whisper.

You look at him, his face is right above your shoulder. “What?”

“I had this big romantic gesture planned. But right now feels right. I love you and I always will.” He smiles. “So. Marry me.”

“That doesn’t sound like a question.” You point out.

“(Y/N),” he stand from his chair and pulls out a ring.

“Oh my god you’re serious.” You gasp.

“I have loved you since our first date. No that’s a lie. I fell in love with you when I first looked and you and I want to marry you. So please. Will you marry me?” His eyes are locked with yours with such intensity you couldn’t say no if you tried.

“You’re an idiot if you think that I would say no.” You smile.

“I’m confused is that a yes?”

“Oh my god yes!” You laugh.

“Oh thank god.” He kisses you and puts the ring on your finger. “Am I still in trouble for the jacket?”

“Yes, but not as much.”


	8. She Will Be Loved

Bucky had always been there for you. Even when you pushed him away, even when you had screamed at him that you hated him and never wanted to see him again. He was always there for you to run back to. He was always there when your relationships ended badly. And they almost always ended badly.

Time and time again he was always waiting there for you with open arms.

This time was no different. You were in a relationship that you shouldn’t be in but Bucky hadn’t heard from you in a while, he could only guess what was happening. He couldn’t help you because you didn’t want it and it would only hurt his relationship with you so he would just wait for you to come back.

So when you called him crying in the middle of the night, he dropped everything and drove miles and miles to get to you.

You sat in your car tears running down your face. Despite the fact you had been in your fair share of toxic relationships they had never done what Brett had done this time. So you sat in your car and waited afraid to go back inside the house.

There was a tap at the passenger side window. You jump only to find Bucky standing there soaking wet from the rain. You hastily unlock the doors and he gets in.

“Hey there kid,” his voice soft.

“Hi,” you whisper not daring to look at him.

“(Y/N),” Bucky brushes his fingers on your chin, “look at me.”

You turn to look at him and he finally sees the bruise on you face.

“Did he do this?” You can tell he’s trying to keep his demeanor calm as to not frighten you.

The only answer you give him is turning away and he moves to get out of the car. You quickly grab his arm.

“Don’t go,” you say so quietly you aren’t sure he hears it.

But he relaxes back into his seat and takes your hand in his.

“How long has it been going on?” He knew that he shouldn’t have asked the answer would only make him more angry but he couldn’t help himself.

“I don’t know, months maybe?” You play with his hand trying to distract yourself. “I guess I didn’t realize how bad it was, I was finding bruises on my body and thought I was just being clumsy.”

“(Y/N).”

“But then he started hitting and I just let him. Until today, today he held a gun to my head and in that moment I realized that I always do this. I always think that I can fix somebody and that I’m so brave for staying with them. So I left. I didn’t even grab anything.” You say and suddenly and wordlessly Bucky rips his hand out of yours and gets out of the car. “Bucky!”

/

Bucky heard your cry for him to come back but he couldn’t. He couldn’t force his body to listen to you.

He walked into your old apartment. He paused when he saw Brett sitting there with tears in his eyes.

“Is she ok?” He whimpers. “I didn’t mean to.”

It took everything in him to not start throwing punches at the guy.

“Fuck off.” Was all Bucky said as he made his way to your bedroom to pack you a suitcase of your things. After he got everything that he assumed was your he started guessing so you wouldn’t have to come back.

/

You don’t move from the car, you wanted to so badly but you sit there trying to think of anything but this. And now you were pretty sure your best friend done with you.

A few minutes later the back door opens and a suitcase is thrown into your back seat, and the door is slammed again. Then Bucky slides into your seat again.

“Drive.” He spoke.

“Where?”

“Anywhere but here.” He smiles.

“What about your car?” You ask.

“I’ll call someone to tow it. (Y/N) stop thinking, and just drive.” Those last words he whispers and you give him a smile and start the car.


	9. Months

Bucky had never had to go through this before so he wasn’t sure how long it was supposed to take. But he had thought that 4 months would’ve made it less fresh but the wound wasn’t even close to being closed, and that hurt.

4 months ago he had a fiance and a plan to get married with in a few weeks but after you walked out of the door all those plans he had made in his head, all the promises he was going to make to you left with you.

Bucky could tell the rest of the group was hurting as well, because of the looks he got from them but mostly because Sam had never gone this long ever without teasing Bucky. He kind of missed it, it was a sure constant in his life and if there was something he needed right now it was something that would tell him that everything was going to be ok. That someday, not today and maybe not in 2 weeks from now, but someday in the near future he would be ok again.

One day everyone was sitting around the table eating their food, the only sound that could be heard was the clanking of forks on plates. Bucky thought it was ironic that you weren’t there because you would’ve know exactly what to say in this moment to make everyone feel at ease again.

Bucky was about to get up from the table when his phone went off telling him he had a new voicemail. He pulled it out confused as to who it could be and why he hadn’t gotten a call.

He stared at the screen in disbelief.

“Is everything ok Bucky?” Natasha asked him.

“I have a voicemail,” was all he said.

“Who’s it from?” Sam asked but he didn’t sound too invested.

“It says it’s from Y/N,” Bucky said looking at everyone at the table.

All the faces that stared back at him mirrored the expression he had made at his phone.

“Play it,” Steve breathed.

Bucky turned up his volume all the way and took a deep breath before he pressed play.

/

Hey Bucky, I’m sorry I left. And I didn’t even leave a note. But you were sleeping so soundly and you’re adorable when you’re asleep. Anyway I had something that I needed to get. But I just thought I’d call and tell you that I love you and I’m excited to force you to be legally bound to me for the rest of your extremely long life. Also super excited to explain to people why I’m dating a 12 year old when I’m 92. Oh also if I don’t get back in time, there’s something I need hidden under your bed, I know it will be safe there because you never fucking clean under your bed. Ok I’m sorry I’ll be home soon. Also tell the team that if they are not ready to go by the time I get home they are all uninvited to the wedding and if Tony pulls any of that ‘but I paid for it’ shit tell him to kiss my ass it’s my wedding and I told him not to any way it’s his fault.

/

Everyone sat there in silence for a moment before Bucky breaks it.

“Ya know what’s funny?” Bucky halfheartedly laughs. “I was just thinking that the one person who could break the silence at dinner was Y/N.”

“What was under your bed?” Clint asks.

“I don’t know,” Bucky laughs again, “I never cleaned under my bed.”

“Dude it’s been 4 months at the least lord knows how long it’s been since before then.” Tony rubs his face with his hands.

Bucky put his dishes in the dishwasher and went up to his room. He crouched to look under the bed on your side and found an envelope. It said ‘James Barnes don’t fucking read this and I’ll know if you do!’

He figured that you wouldn’t mind if he read it now, and if you did there was not a doubt in his mind you would find a way to kick his ass from the afterlife.

/

James Barnes, I’m going to start off with I love you. I know sometimes I don’t always show it in a conventional way but I do and I don’t know what I would do without you. You are constantly telling me how in awe you are that I keep sticking around, but Bucky I don’t think you get it. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. You’ve been through hell and back more times than I can count and still you choose to be one of the sweetest and kindest people. I’ve tried to write my vows a million times but they were always too long and too sappy and this one is on the verge of being that too. So here it goes. Bucky for the rest of my life I promise to try and be someone who is worthy of your love, I promise to try and help you see how good you are, I promise to limit how much I yell at your for stupid things, and I promise to always take your side when you get in a prank war with Sam. Unless I’m pissed at you then all bets are off.

/

Bucky held the paper to his chest. He was grateful to have one more thing to remind him of you. He wasn’t sure that he would ever love anyone like he had loved you. But after today he hurt a little less and that was exactly what he needed.


	10. Sick of You

The first time you had met Bucky you’re first thought was that he was incredibly hot, your second one was the fact that he seemed sweet. It wasn’t until about a week later when you realized the Bucky was kind of an ass, but only towards you. He was kind to everyone else as far as you could tell.

Any time you asked Steve about it he said it was because you were new and he knew the rest of the team, that you just needed to give it time. But the more time went on the more obvious it became the Bucky did not like you and would not warm up to you, at least not anytime soon.

/

You walked into the common room and saw Bucky sitting on one of the couches reading the paper, you weren’t in the mood to deal with Bucky’s mood so you crept over to the kitchen. Unfortunately he saw you.

“Oh great you’re back,” Bucky said.

“Oh great you’re talking and to think I was having a good day,” you smile.

“Well you don’t have to be so grumpy,” he said walking over to you.

“Says the one who’s literally 100 and was just reading the paper.”

“I read the paper for the news, I like it better than the TV.” He shrugs.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“How?” He asks.

“It came out of your mouth,” you wink at him.

“Oh yeah well the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard was during that one mission when you were gave away your position because you were talking to yourself too loud?” He crosses his arms ready to get into it.

“I was talking to you because you were being a fucking idiot and not listening to me. Like the time you refused to listen to me so you got us captured.” You step towards him in a threatening manner.

“No it was your stupid plan that got us captured,” he said.

“It wasn’t even my plan it was Steve’s you just didn’t like the fact that it was coming out of my mouth. If Steve had said it you would’ve been fine with it and you know that,” you say through gritted teeth.

“Please Steve would never come up with such a dumb plan, in fact I can only think of one person here who would and that’s you doll face,” he says smirking.

That nickname causes you to clench your fists in rage unsure of what to do next you storm out of the room. You make your way to the gym with the strong urge to punch something.

For months your interactions with Bucky looked very similar to this, sometimes he would win one sometimes you would. But the rest of the team was getting very sick and tired of it.

But you were getting tired of Natasha and Steve trying to convince you that the two of you actually liked each other.

/

“Steve you know I love you but there’s no way in hell that what your trying to tell me is true,” you tell him.

“Y/N, think about it,” he says, “if you and Bucky just learned how to talk to each other then you would finally be able to confront your feelings for one another.”

“Excuse me for not listening to someone who crashed a plane into the ice only to be frozen there for 70 years all because he didn’t tell someone the coordinates of where his approximate landing site was.” You raise your eyebrow and cock your head to the side waiting for him to come up with a response to that.

“She’s got a point there Steve,” Natasha pats him on the back. “So listen to me when I say that you two have too much passion towards each other and all this pent up angst so you don’t know how to go about talking to each other.”

“I don’t think that’s the case either,” you whisper but she ignores you.

“Besides I think that the two of you would be cute together, in that oh-my-god-I-kind-of-want-to-throw-up kind of way,” she says smiling.

“I agree although,” Steve says ready to add something, “I think that at first it would be like a Jane Austen book where it’s more just stolen glances from across the room and maybe the light brushing of arms. The most you ever see them touch is when they are dancing, but Bucky isn’t a modern day club kind of man, he’s more of a fancy party dance person. But in private they can’t keep their hands off each other.”

“Steve why do you have headcanons about Barnes and my non existent relationship?” You ask.

“What’s a headcanon?” He asks.

“Don’t worry about that,” Natasha says rubbing his upper arm. “I’m more interested on the fact that you read Jane Austen novels.”

“Well yeah they’re great love stories.” Steve shrugs.

“Have you watch any of the movies?” Natasha asks him.

“No there are movies?” He smiles with excitement.

“Yes and believe me we are going to watch them, but let’s get back to teasing Y/N.” Natasha turns back to you.

“Or we could not and just watch Pride and Prejudice,” you suggest.

They didn’t go for it, instead they continue to tease you about it.

Now any time you and Bucky would argue in front of the team Steve and Natasha would throw you a smile, which would anger you even more and just add to the fire. Then it just turned into this vicious cycle of you being angry about what Bucky was saying then what you knew the peanut gallery was thinking about, there was no way living like this could be good for your help.

/

Today you had a mission but you felt like death, you got up and got your combat gear on. That was the thing about living with a bunch of super people and doctors or people with amazing health, they never got sick so you didn’t either but when you did it was bad.

You stumbled down to the artillery to get your weapons, it took a lot longer than normal because you had to pause every few steps to regain energy.

You finally made it to the weapons room and found a place to sit on the floor. You felt a hand on your forehead.

“Y/N you are burning up,” Steve’s voice came from above you.

“Like the Jonas Brothers,” you mumble.

“I don’t know what that means,” Steve said. “But there’s no way that you are coming on this mission with us.”

“I’ll be fine,” you try to argue but just as you were trying to say that you gagged.

“Go back upstairs Y/N, I’ll find someone else to take your spot,” he says pausing, “Do you want me to stay with you?”

“No, I can take care of myself, go save the world Captain Prettyboy,” you tell him.

You try to stand but you don’t get very far without the help of Steve. He tries to help you back to your room but you make a fuss and he decides to let you struggle. He watches you make it to the elevator and gets back to the mission at hand.

Once you were in the elevator you don’t actually look at what button you push but when the doors open again you get off on the floor with the kitchen and the common room. You make it to the couch and lay down there not having the strength to move any further.

You take off the pants you had put on and cover yourself with a blanket. You turn on the TV to watch Hercules and fall asleep almost instantly. The dream you had was very odd. You were in the world of Hercules but instead of the animated character showing up it was Bucky dressed as if he was in ancient greece, but that wasn’t the oddest part. The oddest part was the way Bucky was looking at you, like you were what mattered most to him and he smiled and tried to woo you. That was the only reason you could tell that this was a fever dream because it all felt so real, but there was also the fact that every once in awhile everyone started singing.

You woke up when your movie dream ended. You sat up not feeling any better and struggled to get to the fridge. You opened the door looking for the juice but couldn’t find any.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on a mission?” Bucky asked, he was the only one left in the compound.

“Do we have any juice?” You asked.

“It’s right here-” he pulls orange juice out of the fridge, “-Why aren’t you on the mission?”

You turn and stare at him for a moment. “You have very blue eyes, congratulations.”

“Are you feeling ok?” He asks placing his flesh hand on your forehead. “Oh god, Y/N you’re hot.”

“Ha ha, thanks good looking,” you laugh.

“So you’re like really sick,” he says and you just laugh softly.

“Yeah sick of you,” you say.

“Ok let’s get you up to bed.” He closes the fridge door.

“But juice.”

“I will grab you some juice after you get into bed I promise,” he said wrapping an arm around your waist.

You let yourself lean into him and let him practically carry you up the stairs.

When he got you to your bed he helped you get on your night shirt.

“I’m not wearing pants,” you say realizing that you never put them back on.

“It’s ok you’ve got a nice ass,” he blurts and looks at you wide eyed. “I didn’t mean it like that I just meant-”

“Shh-” you place a finger on his lips, “-it’s sleep time. Night night Luke Skywalker.”

“Is that an arm joke?”

“Yeah I couldn’t think of anything better.” You say.

Bucky pulls the covers over you and left to go get you the juice. You were asleep by the time he got back. He set the juice on your bedside table.

“James,” you whimper, “stay.”

“What?”

You open your eyes and stare at him. “Stay. Please?”

“Here,” he sits next to you on the bed, “I’ll sit here until you fall asleep.”

You lay your head on his lap and he absentmindedly rubs your back. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep, he tried to move but you held on tighter to his legs. He scooted down and laid next to you and ended up falling asleep.

You woke up in the middle of the night entangled with limbs the only reason you knew who it was because of the metal arm that was draped over your body. You roll over to confirm your suspicions and he holds you tighter. You lay there staring at him for a moment before he opens his eyes.

“Are you staring at me?” He whispers his voice a little husky.

“No,” you lie.

He rolls his eyes and feels your forehead again. He examines your face, his eyes landing on your lips.

“Your lips are really warm,” he says.

“What?”

“You’re still really warm,” he says trying to cover his ass. “Not as warm as you were before so maybe your fever broke.”

“That’s not what you said.”

“Yes it is Y/N,” he argues.

“Ok whatever you say,” you smile.

The two of you lay there in silence staring at each other Bucky’s fingers traced the shape of your face.

You would’ve laid there forever but that’s when you felt a god awful wrenching in your stomach. You throw the covers off and run into the bathroom and lean over the toilet. Bucky was right behind you to help you in anyway he could and rub your back.

You hadn’t eaten much that day so not much came back up. The rest of the night was spent in the bathroom next to the toilet, and you were pretty sure that your fever came back.

At about 5am you finally feel better so you walk down to the kitchen where Bucky was heating you up some broth. That’s when you felt it, you hadn’t felt it at all before probably because you were sick but now you could feel it clear as day.

Damn it Rogers, you thought to yourself.

“Hey,” Bucky says once he sees you. “Are you feeling better?”

“A little bit, but now I’m really hungry.” You walk over to the island chairs and take a seat.

“Ok we’ll start out with some broth and then move on to solids.”

He walks over to the cupboard and stretches just the slightest bit to reach a bowl giving you a great view of his ass. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t take advantage of the view.

He pours the soup into the bowl and brings it to you.

“Alright here we go.”

“Thank you for doing all of this, I know you were probably looking forward to having some time to yourself,” you say looking at him.

“Y/N it’s fine, I don’t mind besides if you had died and I was the only one here no one would’ve forgiven me.” He smiles taking the seat next to you.

For the next 2 days while the rest of the team is on the mission you and Bucky spent that time sitting on the couch watching movies. He continued to take care of you even when you were strong enough to take care of yourself again.

The instant the rest of the team got home he went back to his asshole self and that made you livid, which caused you to also become an asshole again.

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked walking into your room when he got back with Natasha hot on his tail.

“Fine.” You smile and hug them both.

“So how was it being here alone,” Natasha asks, “with just Bucky?”

“It was odd, he took care of me while I was sick but then as soon as you guys got home he started acting like an asshole again.”

Natasha and Steve shared a look.

“What is it?” You ask them.

“You can’t tell her,” Steve says.

“Get fucked Rogers I do what I want,” Natasha says then turns to you. “Bucky volunteered to stay behind and look after you.”

“What? Why?” You look to Steve.

“Well now that’s a dumb question he was worried about you and we knew we would be fine without him,” Steve answers.

After that talk with Steve and Nat, you make your way to the gym hoping that the workout would help you workout what the hell was going on with Bucky.

Naturally when you get there the only other person in there is Bucky.

“Hey Barnes!” You yell at him.

He turns to you and hops off the treadmill. He walks over to you looking confused by the scowl on your face.

“What’s up?” He asks.

“What’s up? What’s up? I could ask you the same thing.”

“What did I do?” He looks like he can’t think of anything he did wrong.

“First of all you’re an ass to me when first meet then after months of being said ass you volunteer to look after me while I’m sick. Then once everyone gets home you decide that you should be an asshole again. So I’m confused because I thought we were getting somewhere.”

“Did Steve tell you I said I would stay behind?” He asks not addressing the rest of your rant.

“No it was Natasha, and is that all you got from that!” You yell.

“Listen,” he said walking towards you forcing you to back up until you hit the wall. “I wasn’t, and I’m still not sure how to act around you. You give me so many mixed signals-”

“I give you mixed signals?” You demand.

“I’m not done. You give me so many mixed signals about how you feel about me as a person. I can’t tell if you hate me because of my past or if you just don’t like me in general. And then you got sick and I knew someone had to stay behind and take care of you and I was someone who wasn’t needed on that mission. Then you started saying all these things and I just assumed that it was the fever talking. So then when I started to really have feelings for you I had to distance myself from you because by that point I was sure it was just because you were sick and there was no one else around.” His breathing is heaving and his body is so close to yours you can feel the rise and fall of his chest.

“I don’t hate you, not because of your past or at all for that matter.” You stare into his eyes.

“You don’t?”

“No and if you had asked I would have told you that even though I say stupid shit while I have a high fever, I meant most of what I said.”

“Most?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah I’m not sick of you.” You lean your head closer to his and he takes this as an invitation to kiss you.

Well at least try, right before your lips touch someone walks into the gym and Bucky pulls away to look at the intruder.

“Oh sorry guys,” Natasha’s vice rings through the room.

Bucky looks back at you with a smile on his face.

“I’ll see you around Y/N.” With that he walks out of the gym.

“Natasha,” you call to her leaning your head against the wall.

“Yeah?” She comes over to you.

“If you are going to insist on pushing Barnes and I together the least you could do is not interrupt us,” you say exhausted.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” You push yourself off the wall and walk out of the gym.

You walk down the hallway and are pulled into a dimly lit room.

“James what are you doing?” You laugh.

“Well we were so rudely interrupted,” he whispers in your ear.

“So?” You breathe.

“So,” as he speaks you can feel his breath on your cheek. “Where were we?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Well,” he kisses your jaw, “looks like I’ll just have to remind you.”

He takes his sweet time leaving a trail of kisses across your skin before he finally reaches your lips. His lips taste like salt probably from the salt in his sweat. When he does you press your body up against his. You grab his waist and pull him tighter towards you trying to get as close as you possibly can to him, his hands firmly pressed against your back holding you in place, as if he needed to be scare you would pull away too soon.

You relaxed into his touch and the kiss became sloppy but more urgent. His breath was sweet and warm you were just as you were ready to stay in this moment forever, just as you were about to deepen the kiss further he pulls away.

Now you were both breathing heavily trying to catch your breath.

“Your lips are really warm,” you whisper.

“So you remember that?” He smiles.

“Yes I remember most of what happened during that time I had a fever I wasn’t drunk,” you remind him.

“I can still hope that you don’t remember me saying stupid shit.” He brushed your cheek with his thumb.

“I can promise that I will always remember the stupid shit you say,” you tell him.

“I look forward to it.” He smiles pulling you in to kiss you again.


	11. The Inevitable

Standing out was not Bucky’s thing, he was content to be in the background. He had spent all of his freshman year not being seen by anyone. That changed his sophomore year when his family moved and he was forced into a different school. That’s where he met you. You were the child of the principle and she insisted that you help Bucky find his way around.

“So James right?” You ask.

“It’s actually -” he starts but the bell cuts him off.

“It looks like your first period is Mr. Wyckham, be careful he’s crazy. And I don’t say that in a-he’ll give you a lot of homework over breaks way. I mean he’s actually completely bonkers,” you say handing him his schedule back. “He’s just down the hall, my class is right here so if you need help finding your next class let me know.”

“Thank you,” he says and you nod and walk off to your class.

Bucky had trouble focusing in his first class. Any time he tried his mind would wander back to you. So when class ended and he saw you standing by your class door he smiled and walked over to you. He was sure that he could find his way to his next class but he was glad to have an excuse to hang out with you, even if it was for only four minutes. He listened to you talk about all the teachers which ones were nice and would give you an extension when you needed one, and which ones were mean and grumpy.

At the end of the day, Bucky was sitting on a bench outside of the school waiting for his mom to pick him up. He was reading and didn’t notice you sit next to him.

“What are you reading?” You ask, he jumped not expecting to see you there.

“The Shining,” he says and you grimace.

“Isn’t that book scary?” You asked.

“Yeah, haven’t you read it? Or seen the movie?” He puts a bookmark in his place and closes his book.

“No, neither I don’t do scary movies or books,” you tell him.

“Why not?”

“Because -” you start but shake your head, “it doesn’t matter. What matters is I watch Disney movies.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Disney movie,” he says earnestly.

“I- I’m not even sure how that’s possible,” you stutter.

“Well when I was younger my parents weren’t really TV people and now I just don’t see the point,” he says.

“Ok well, I’ll watch a scary movie if you watch a Disney movie,” you tell him.

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

“Ok come over to my house on Friday and bring your favorite scary movie and I’ll show you my favorite Disney movie,” you say.

“Deal,” he says without hesitating.

Bucky spends the rest of the week freaking about what to do. He hung out with you during the school day, mostly during lunch, other times when your mom was working a little late and his mom hadn’t picked him up yet.

When Friday came around and he was sitting in the car outside your house. He held on to the DVD that he had in his lap.

“Are you going to go in?” His mother asks.

“Yeah I just need to find the courage,” he says.

“You will,” his mom told him.

He sat there for a second before he double checked that he had everything and walked up to your door. Seconds after he knocked you opened the door.

’‘Hey Bucky,” you say beaming, "come on in.”

You lead him into the living room and the two of you awkwardly sit next to each other not quite sure what to do next.

"Do you want to start with the scary movie or the Disney?” Bucky asks you.

"Yes,” you answer, “otherwise I will not be able to sleep tonight.”

“Alright let’s do that then,” he smiles.

You get up and put the movie that Bucky brought which was The Exorcist. Before the movie actually started you grabbed the popcorn you had made before Bucky got there. The two of you sat through the movie.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky that as the movie went on, the closer you got to him until you were basically on top of him. At one point you weren’t even watching anymore you just had your head buried into his neck and he had his arms around you to offer you more protection as if the movie was going to harm you.

When the credits were rolling and you still hadn’t moved from your place nuzzled in Bucky.

“Hey Y/N,” he whispered to you, “the movie’s over.”

“Are you sure?” Your voice was muffled by his shoulder.

“What Disney movie did you choose?”

You instantly sit up and smile at him, he started to look concerned. You jump off the couch and rush over and put the movie in.

You had trouble picking just one Disney movie to show him. In the end, you decided to go with a classic. You sit back down to Bucky and stare at him with a creepy smile on your face.

“Don’t watch me,” you tell him, “watch the movie.”

He silently turns his head and watches the movie. You had chosen Mulan and every once in awhile you would look over to see how he was reacting, but his face was unreadable. He had a neutral expression on his face the entire time.

“What did you think?” You ask when the movie ended.

“I liked it more than I thought I would,” he answers truthfully.

He started smiling once you started playfully yelling at him for only liking one of the best Disney movies.

Looking back on it, Bucky was sure he could pinpoint the moment he knew he was in trouble. Not when he was in love, but he knew that he would never find anyone who made him feel the way you did. He would always say that it was that night, that moment you started yelling at him that night.

Bucky spent most of the rest of high school single, mostly because he was pining after you. But also because no one seemed interested in him, hell no one seemed to see him except you.

You weren’t invisible though, and you didn’t stay single, in fact, at the begging of junior year you started dating this guy Charlie. He was nice enough, Bucky never really liked him but he hid it well. The two of you dated until senior year when Charlie decided that he wanted to have a shot at prom king and didn’t think that you would get him that. So he dumped you a week before prom, after you’d bought the ticket, found the perfect dress, and gotten everything all planned out. After all that trouble, you had no one to go with.

You were sitting at a table by yourself at lunch just staring at your food. You could sense Bucky sitting down next to you but you elected to ignore him.

“So I was thinking,” he says.

“I don’t want to hear it, not today,” you say knowing what he was going to say.

“You don’t even know what I’m gonna say,” he challenges.

“Yes I do,” you look at him, “you’re going to say ‘Y/N it’ll be fine, now we can just have another movie night. I mean it’s only prom.’ Bucky I know you think it’s a silly dance but I was really looking forward to going.”

“So go with me.”

“What?” You breathe.

“I know how much this means to you. Because despite what you think I listen to you. And Charlie’s an ass for ditching you. Go with me?” He smiles and how are you supposed to say no to that face? Not like you would’ve anyway.

“Are you sure?” You ask not wanting to get your hopes up.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Ok then, I’ll go with you,” the smile on your face didn’t leave for three days straight.

Prom came and went and you and Bucky had the time of your lives. Bucky had more fun than he thought he would, but you managed to make a lot of silly things fun. Charlie had tried to ruin your fun at one point, but BUcky shut that down real quick.

After that night you thought you might be developing a crush on Bucky. You never really got the chance to figure it out, graduation came quicker than you would’ve liked. And you didn’t even get the summer, Bucky had early admission to MIT and you had a summer trip across Europe that was your graduation present from your parents.

At first, you kept in touch during college and saw each other over summer breaks but as time went on you faded from each other’s lives until the pair of you were just memories.

Until one day years later, you were at the grocery store staring at chip options. As luck would have it Bucky walked down the same aisle.

The sight of you brought a smile to his face. You hadn’t seen him yet so he pushes his cart close to you and lightly bumps your cart with his. You look up with a scowl on your face until you realize who it is.

“Oh my god,” you whisper.

“Hey, can you maybe move your cart you’re taking up the entire aisle,” he teases with a smile on his face.

You stick your tongue out at him before embracing him.

“This is literally the last place I thought I’d see you,” He smiles as he pulls away from you.

“Do you live here?” You ask you were hoping he’d say yes but a small part of you wanted him to say no. Because if you had been in the same place as him but hadn’t reconnected, you would be frustrated with yourself.

“Yes,” he says but as if he knew what you were thinking he adds, “But I just moved here Monday. How long have you been here?”

“About a year. You should’ve told me you were moving here. I would’ve helped you moved,” which was a lie but it would’ve been nice to hang out with him again.

“I don’t have your number,” he reminds you.

“Shit that’s right,” you’d forgotten that you’d changed your number. “Ok well let’s get coffee or something.”

“Yes I’m free tomorrow,” he says.

“Ok great let me give you my number,” you say and he hands you his phone.

The next day the two of you were sitting in a coffee shop across from each other.

“I wanted to say thanks,” Bucky said.

“For what?” you ask sipping your drink.

“For really seeing me, that first day,” he says. “I wouldn’t be where I am now without you.”

Throughout the rest of the coffee date, those feelings that you had senior year come bursting out of the floodgates. Every accidental touch, every smile, every time your eyes would meet, made your heart race. Half an hour in you had to stop drinking your coffee, because of how fast your heart was beating.

Bucky smiled at your bashful behavior, hiding your face anytime he reminded you of something slightly embarrassing you did in high school.

Standing out had never been Bucky’s thing, in fact to most people he was quite invisible but he was ok with that. When it came to you, however, he enjoyed having your attention. Everything changed his sophomore year when the inevitable happened; that’s when he started to fall in love, and that day in the coffee shop is when he knew that he would never love anyone else the way he loved you.


	12. The Worst Day

Sometimes you have bad days, but this day this one particular day was the worst anything that could’ve gone wrong did.

It started when you woke up not to your alarm but to your dog licking your face.

You groan and check your phone, it was 9:30am and you bolted out of bed. The first thing you did was open the back door of your condo to let your dog out back. You close the door once he was out doing his business. You run around the house trying to get ready as quickly as possible, you had a presentation at work in an hour and it would take you about 45 minutes to actually get to work.

You got ready in record time under 10 minutes and let your dog back into the house, he was moving slower than he usually did. You pour his food into his bowl and run out the door.

Somehow you had great luck with traffic and made it to work and actually had time to set up your presentation.

You watch as all the higher-ups of the company walk into the room and you welcome them and start. That was probably the only part of your day that went well because as soon as you walk out of that room and back to your desk your computer craps out. You went searching for one of the company’s laptops hoping to get at least some work done but you couldn’t find anything. So you gave up and called your friend Bucky.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Would you like to go get lunch with me?” You ask him.

He could tell from your voice that this was going to be a rant lunch.

“Sure where do you want to meet?” He asks.

“Just meet me at my place,” you tell him, “I want to shower before we go anywhere.”

“Alright I’ll see you in a bit,” he says and hangs up the phone.

You go to your boss and let them know that you are going to leave work early and when he started to protest you kindly reminded him that you came in two Saturdays in a row when he asked you too. He smiled and told you to have a nice day.

Once you were home you walk in and wait for your dog Drax to come to greet you.

“Drax!” You call out and walk over to his normal spot on the sofa.

“Y/n! I’m here and I’m coming in!” Bucky yells walking into your living room. “What’s wrong?’

“I can’t find Drax,” you say, “Nevermind there he is.”

You could see his legs sticking out from around the corner. You walk over to him, his breathing was erratic, he was shivering, and when he tried to get up he didn’t stand for very long.

“I should take him to the vet,” you look to Bucky.

You try to get him to the car but he’s too heavy for you. Bucky silently picks him up and takes him out to your car. He sets him in the back seat.

“Do you need someone to come with you?” Bucky asks.

You nod and Bucky silently takes your keys and you sit in the back seat with Drax. The drive to the vet was silent other than you whispering to Drax. When you got to the vet’s office Bucky parked the car and went in to tell them what was happening. You stayed with Drax in the back of the car until some people came out with a stretcher to get him.

You watched helplessly as they wheeled him back into the building. You walked into the lobby and sat next to Bucky.

“They have some paperwork for you to do,” Bucky whispers hand you a pen and the stack of clipboards.

You slowly went through every paper but completely stopped at the last one.

“A DNR?” You look at Bucky tears threatening to fall from your eyes. “Bucky I don’t want to lose him.”

“I know,” Bucky says.

You sign the last of the papers and give it to the person at the front desk. You sat back down next to Bucky and waited.

You felt him wrap his arm around your shoulder. You lean your head on his shoulder and let yourself cry.

After a while, one of the vets comes by to update you on what’s happening and don’t retain any of it. Luckily, Bucky was there to be your rock, you don’t know how you would’ve done any of this without him.

“Would you like to see him?” She asks and you nod your head.

You walk down the never-ending hallway until you reach a door. You look at the heart monitor hooked up to Drax.

“Hey buddy, you’re such a good boy,” you whisper trying to stop yourself from crying.

The heart monitor starts to go crazy and the vet turns off the volume. You don’t move as you continue to pet your dog who had been there through everything every break-up, bad day, and even through the fights, you had with Bucky. You don’t know how long it is before you are pulled away by Bucky and he leads you back to your car.

He drives you home and you break down three separate times. Once you think that you have a grasp on your emotions you look at your phone.

Hey we’re at your place and all setup - Steve

“Oh fuck,” you whisper.

“What?” Bucky asks.

“Today’s the 10th of March,” you tell him.

“Yeah?”

“You never told me it was your birthday…” you look at him appalled, you had totally forgotten.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” he looked over to you, “you’ve had a lot going on lately.”

“There’s a surprise party at my house for you,” you admit.

“What?”

“I totally forgot about everything, your birthday and in turn the party I planned for you -”

“Let’s ditch it,” he said talking a turn making you go the opposite direction from your house.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, what’s funnier than someone not showing up to their own surprise birthday?” He looked over at you and smiled.

“I love you,” you chuckle then silently freak out in your seat.

He didn’t say anything as he drove. Which made you think that maybe he didn’t hear you after all. After a few minutes, he parks in a field where the light pollution is minimal and you can see the stars. You get off of the car and sit on the hood of the car and look up at the stars. You’re not sure how long you’re sitting there until Bucky comes and joins you.

“I love you too,” he whispers thinking you can’t hear him.


End file.
